One of the things I love about homeschooling so much is the opportunity for mixed aged interaction. No where in society does segregation based on age happen outside of schools. Some school are narrowing this age segregation further and further allowing individual classes their own recess time. This, however, really strips children of the opportunity to work together and build both their own level of care taking and for the younger ones to learn from the older ones. These days, however, most parents do not want their younger children hanging around older ones because of what they do learn.
I've seen this a lot lately, but feel it comes from this social isolation. Older children are quiet inappropriate around younger children these days. The other day we were at a park and two boys between the ages of 10 to 12 pushed past us- literally pushing us out of their way- and were cursing up a storm. They paid no attention to me as an adult or to the little kids that were with me. There was absolutely no self-regulation going on whatsoever.
But when older children are around younger ones on a regular basis a real awareness and care of them develops.
I love nothing more than to sit back as inconspicuously as possible and just watch. I love to see them problem solve and figure out what they're going to do.
In this case there was a bit of water that needed crossing and the bigger girls were trying to figure out how to help the littles over. Chantelle thought a piggy pack would be best until she realized how heavy the little cousin was! She said, "Oh, that won't work." and set her back down. I remained silent during the whole escapade, which they are completely used to so do not even bother looking my way for suggestions.
Then Nakia thought she could carry her. Nope, too heavy.
So, they went for the pass.
In the end, they did get her across, but not without a damp boot and pant leg... an excellent price for a priceless experience.
A dose of reality- what cannot be seen in these pictures is the mother with the crying 4 year old behind us that wanted so badly to play with the girls here but whose mother would not let him because the idea of possibly getting wet was so horrific to her she scolded him and made him sit on the bench next to her while giving us dirty looks for 'allowing' this to go on. sigh. If I had a magic wand I would make every mother on the planet never care ever again about their children getting their clothes dirty!
The crucial elements involved in this here for real 'care' to take place is the lack of micromanagement by an adult and also the real life element of an obstacle. This is a perfect place for something like this to happen because there is no real danger. The worst that can happen is a wet foot, but the perceived 'danger' of the wet foot is enough for them all to take this very seriously.
A few years ago when the big sister was in school she was in a first grade full of really wild boys, many on add/adhd drugs who just could not sit still. Once a week we would go on a nature walk that I always attended. All the boys knew that they could climb the trees if an adult was willing to go with them- and they knew I was the only adult willing to climb trees- so it became my 'job.' I loved it. These boys who had very little self control and self-monitoring skills became saints high up in the trees. Once the danger was real, they worked together in a remarkable way. Each was so courteous to the other and so cooperative. "Hey dude, I want to go to that branch. Can you come over here while I climb there and then you can go back?" "OK, hang on, I think Josh wants to get up here first." These boys were nothing like this on the ground and caused quite a bit of distress to each other, seeming to care very little about what was best for the other. But once we were 20 feet up in the air everything changed. This is why I'm a HUGE advocate of playing outdoors and exposing children to real life dangers. I'm all for working with real tools, fire, climbing trees, sawing wood, knives in the kitchen, etc. It is real danger that teaches children about the laws of nature- the best teacher we have.
