I know so many of us out there are huge fans of Alfie Kohn's, Punish by Rewards. For those not familiar with the book- it basically states how praising children acts as a huge detriment to their lives. Constantly saying "good job" to our children does not help them become better at what they're doing. It interferes more with the learning process than it helps it. It puts the emphasis on the outcome rather than the process, turning children from explorers to performers. They become addicted to the way others are seeing them and loose the ability to listen to their own inner guidance. Their motivation becomes outward focused rather than inwardly following their own ideas, intuition, talents and strengths. What others think of them becomes more important than what they think of themselves.
Consequently, I find many of us relinquish praise all together. Here's a great little video that speaks to the kind of praise that is beneficial to children.
