the little travelers * travel blog

Clue #1 for next travel destination

The first clue for the next country we will be visiting for The Little Travelers series is:

According to the Lonely Planet guide book on this country, a plate of food including meat, rice and veggies runs about .40 cents US$.  

That's it.  Guess away and any correct answers will be put into a drawing to win a Little Traveler's DVD of your choice.  They make great holiday gifts!

warmth

In yoga today the instructor was talking about keeping our organs warm.  In much of the East they recommend not drinking cold beverages because it 'makes your organs cold.'  Colleagues that I worked with in Japan would often tell me that drinking large amounts of cold water would make me fat and to drink small amounts of tea for good health.  In my 20's I thought they were absurd and just smiled while inside I thought they were rather moronic.  But for the last month I've been experimenting with not drinking cold liquids.  I've only been drinking hot tea and must admit to having better digestion and feeling more relaxed.

While traveling through Asia I often noticed particularly in the elderly that they wrap their middles with an extra layer.  In Korea elderly women often wear a velcro thick belt around their middles to keep their organs warm.  

In Waldorf schools in the young years teachers are always on parents to dress their children in layers to keep warm.  Steiner believed that a child's organs could not develop properly if they were not warm.I always like it when the same information comes at me from drastically different sources saying the same thing.  There is quite a bit of tension that is created in the body when it's trying to keep itself warm that often comes out in play when children are not dressed warm enough.  When teaching preschool I always kept extra sweaters and hats around for those children that came underdressed in the morning and it definitely made a difference in their behavior once they were warm.  The 'good' Waldorf parent dresses their child in three layers.  In moderately cool climates it's an undershirt, long sleeve shirt and sweater- all out of natural materials, ideally the sweater hand knitted out of wool. In cold climates the outer layer is of course more serious.

They also believe that children ought to wear a particular garment often like we used to when we were kids.  For example, a sweater that is 'theirs.'  One that everyone knows belongs to them because they wear it everyday.  It really has their energy imbued into it.  When children wear new clothes all the time they never get a chance to really make them their own and personalize them. Think about a favorite sweatshirt that you've owned for years.  It definitely feels different than a brand new one and it's not just about how many time it's been washed to make it softer.  It has a different energy to it.   Children especially are very in tune with energy of things, which is why it is wise to take much care in the objects that children are exposed to.

Since cold season is starting up again here is Dr. Mercola's advice on the flu vaccine.  

free range kids

is a site I really love!  I recently received an email asking my permission to include a comment I had written in an upcoming book.  Here's the story:

When I was living in Japan everyone on the street let their kids go to the park alone.  My daughters were 3 and 5 at the time and just ran off with the other kids.  I followed ducking behind cars so they couldn't see me and watched from a distance.  They were all fine.  After a week of spying I finally relaxed enough to enjoy the time that they were at the park.  My brother grew up in Germany in the 60's and 3 yrs old was the official age when a child was old enough to go to the corner bakery in the morning to pick up the bread.  Today, 3 yrs old is still thought of as infancy!  Many people still have a 3 yr old in a highchair, diapers and they have never even drunk out of a cup before- all they know are 'sippy-cups.'  This world is beyond absurd. 

I know of another story where a family traveled to south east asia with a 2 yr old still in a stroller- all the local people thought the child had stumbled across a land mine.  When the child got up and walked around they were amazed- but confused.  Why would a healthy child need a wheelchair???  Good question!  

When I was in the Philippines  2 year olds ran on rice field ledges one foot wide with up to a 2 story drop off on the other side.  I was in my 20's and walked nervously along the edge while they ran past me.  I asked a local if a child had ever fallen off and they laughed and laughed.  They said the only people who ever got hurt were tourists because they weren't used to it.  This is the exact proof that the old wise one said about fear- 'we have nothing to fear but fear itself.'  The fear IS the danger- not the subway, the tree, the neighbor.  it's only the fear.

I really hope she edits it!  Talk about stream of consciousness writing.  

Recently, the big sister and her 8 year old cousin have been hanging out at a park next to an elementary school- during school hours- which is particularly disturbing to teachers on yard duty who can see them through the chain link fence that separates the two.  To make matters worse they enjoy sitting up on top of the monkey bars eating their snack that they packed.  So many disturbing facets of this to the well intentioned teachers.

Our children are so sheltered these days.  For those that say it is more dangerous now than it was when we grew up have not seen the statistics stating otherwise.  Kidnappings have not increased since we were kids, only media reportings of them have risen 300%.  Some statistics even say we're at a slightly lower rate than 30 years ago.  Of course it's unfortunate to have a tragedy strike, but equally tragic is locking kids inside to grow obese in front of a TV and never know adventure.  

Both of my brothers learned to fly before they learned to drive a car.  Plane licenses were issued at 15 and cars at 16.  The first time my brothers soloed we all waved towels and skirts from the backyard when they flew overhead.  I remember my mom's response to the very concerned neighbors questioning her parenting by 'letting' them fly alone at that age.  She said, "I would rather have my kids die doing something they love than hate me for sheltering them out of my own fear."  I was 8 and  remember being so glad she was my mom and not the nervous Nelly who lived next door with an alarm system sign in her yard.  We rarely locked our doors and were one of the few houses on the block that was never robbed.  At this point, with the huge success of The Secret and all, most of us understand that everything is law of attraction.   But how many of us put it into practical application where our children are concerned?

 

my brother, the melancholic

There is always a lot of talk about the temperaments in Waldorf ed.  A simple way to think of them is through the Pooh characters.

Pooh= Phlegmatic (water)

Eyore= Melancholic (earth)

Tigger= Choleric (fire)

Piglet= Sanguine (air)

I am fire and have one water and one earth child.  It is often challenging for me but the more I learned about the temperaments the better I felt equipped to meet my children where they are, rather than where I am.  As a Tigger I move rather quickly and pack a lot of things into any given day.  My little one is Pooh and loves to move really slowly and is really not in a hurry to do anything, ever.  Then there's the big sister  Eyore, who generally carries the weight of the world on her shoulders.  She is serious and feels things very deeply.  Before learning about the temperaments I was far more likely to dismiss her woes- because there are MANY!  But being dismissive to a melancholic is like a stab straight to the heart.  It really hurts them.  I am often tempted to respond to her as my own temperament would want to respond to something:  Big sister stubs her toe and begins to cry.  I look at the tiny scratch and say, "ouchy" and keep moving.  This of course only makes her cry harder.  Until I meet her with stopping and really taking a look at the itty bitty, teeny tiny scratch and acknowledge it, she will not get off  of it.  So, I've learned over the years to deal with my daughter.  I feel it's my duty as a mother to learn as much as possible so I can best respond to each child's needs.  

Then there is my brother.  My 45 year old brother who just retired from flying jets for the Air Force.  We were bbq'ing the other day when he went to light the bbq and it blew up in his face singeing his eyebrows and front hair and arm hairs.  He came in the house and my mom (fire times 1000! - like Tigger on crack) and I start cracking up- only because we had both done it to ourselves in the past year and ran around with sparse eyebrows for months.  When it happened to us we nearly wet ourselves in hysteria.  He did not laugh- at all.  On the contrary, after we started laughing he began to sulk.  We of course stopped our snickering and asked if he was ok, to which he replied, "It really hurts.  It's burned."  From experience we knew it hurt, but it did not stop us from thinking it was funny when we were the victims.  But Tigger would also laugh at himself.  Imagine Eyore burning himself!  Not a laughing matter.  So the whole night he didn't really get off of it and sulked.  

It didn't occur to me until I was going to bed that my brother is melancholic!  I certainly have learned not to ever make light or laugh at my daughter, but had never really even thought of my grown siblings as a particular temperament.  My brother was in the Air Force for a long time.  He's done basic training and countless flights to Iraq and Afghanistan- I would think a little bbq mishap wouldn't phase him.  But if we had all said, "Oh, my gosh! Are you ok?"  he would've gotten right off of it and said, "Ya, it's fine." not making a big deal of it at all. But because we never asked and laughed at him, it really hurt him.  

A lot of parents get upset over teachers using talking about the temperaments in school feeling that it is just another way to label children.  I understand that as I dislike categorizing people as well.  However, I have found much wisdom in leaning about the temperaments just to see others from their perspective rather than my own.  People are different and do process things differently and I find it extremely helpful to be able to better respond to someone having a bit more information.  It is also important to note that the goal for adults is to be balanced in all four and people are rarely only one temperament.  However, most people do have a dominant temperament.

More info can be found in the books like, Children and their Temperaments.

Christmas, for non-Christians

Piggy-backing on yesterday's theme I thought I'd cover celebrating Christmas in non-Christian countries. It  is one of my favorite things to do.  I once watched a nativity play from my hotel balcony in Saigon while drinking Russian 'champaign' with a screw top.  The whole country was aflutter with pink plastic Christmas trees.  You'd see whole families on a moped and the Christmas tree squeezed between them all.

I once participated in a Christmas egg hunt at midnight in Bali.  They smooshed quite a few Christian holidays into that one fabulous night.  First came the whole roasted suckling pig that spent the entire day on a spit in the middle of the hotel and then the big hunt followed.  And yes, for those wondering - the eggs were dyed red and green.  My boyfriend at the time, (current ex-husband) and I won the grand prize, a mother of pearl desk top pen holder with the hotel's name on it: Tinarella.  When we went back with the girls for The Little Travelers the hotel was still there but under different management.

In Japan people stand in line for hours at KFC for some greasy chicken and enjoy Christmas cake afterwards, which is a birthday cake complete with candles (random amount) decorated in Christmas colors.  They do this because it is "American style."  All of my poor students were crushed when I told them I didn't know of a single person who has ever eaten KFC on Christmas!  Nor made a birthday cake with red and green frosting and put candles on it.  When I asked them who is supposed to blow out the candles, they always went blank?  "Anyone, it doesn't matter." Then I would try to explain about how it's Jesus' birthday- so I was just wondering who blows them out and their expressions would grow more and more confused.

And then there are the Christmas ornaments in Japan.  My favorite would have to be Santa on the crucifix.  I often wonder if this is how Buddhists view things like Target's line of Buddha candle holders or all the little home decor trinkets with Chinese characters on them.  Most of the ones I see I do not recognize and have no idea what they say, but they look 'zen'- a very misunderstood word in our culture.  The other day I heart a designer on HGTV say, "It's a very Bali/Zen look."  Interesting choice of words for a stucco fish pond with a Buddha at the end.  Bali is a Hindu island in a Muslim country and Zen is a sect of Buddhism.  Neither culture does much with stucco.  But, OK!  All this pickyness over words- I actually love the cross breeding of cultures and love seeing it all jumbled up because to me it reflects the unimportance of the small stuff.  I mean, ignorance has been an excusable American trait for quite some time and sometimes I suppose it's kind of nice to see we're not alone.  

do they know it's Christmas?

I'm  not much of a shopper- until we have a trip to go on.  Suddenly I'm in a flurry of retail.  The weather is actually going to be quite a bit colder than we anticipated in our next locale, which means coat shopping.  The problem is we're in Arizona right now!  I walked into a store today and asked, "Do you have coats?"  The sales girl responds, "Oh, our jackets are over there."  I say, "I saw those.  Do you have coats?"  She says, "You mean like long sweaters?"  I say, "No.  I mean coats."  She says, "Oh, like blazers?"  At that point I decide I better hit the internet at home.  But while out we were treated to Christmas songs in all the stores.  It's still 85 degrees here during the day and the Christmas music weeks before Thanksgiving seemed a bit much.  Although, I did get to hear one of all time favorites, "Do they know it's Christmas?" by Band Aid.  It is so perfectly 80's in its inception and execution.  I remember watching MTV in high school and saying, "That looks like Bono.  Wait, is that Boy George?  And Sting?  And Bananarama?"  I promptly went off to Tower Records to buy the 45 and listened it until my brother declared that he would burn it if he heard it coming from my room one more time.  I was around 16 at the time and thought it was genius.

But as an adult, I have to wonder... What were they thinking???  It was adults who thought of this song!  I get that they wanted to do something nice for the less fortunate and I support the sentiment 100%.  But who thought it was a good idea to ask if a predominately non-Christian continent knew if it was Christmas time?  I love to wonder if countries like Afghanistan have top 10 songs about North America singing if we know it's Ramadan?  Do they sing about us eating and drinking ourselves to death during a time of fasting?  In India do they have songs about us, wondering if we know it's Divali?  Just wondering...

Of course Africa being predominately non-Christian is one of those hot debate topics.  I think most statistics report a near equal spread between Christianity and Islam, but that of course does not take into account all the native religions that were present before the missionaries arrived.  There are many groups in Africa right now attempting to restore indigenous spiritual practices.  Many of those groups say that even though a lot of the people would report being "Christian" due to fear or pressure they never really gave up their original ways of worship, but when asked would say, "Yes, I'm a Christian."   So, anyway until I walk across the entire continent counting myself I'm going to have to rely on someone else's numbers.

single parenthood...

is not something I often write about.  I don't think of myself as a single parent all that often.  I just think of myself as a Mom.  It's not something that I try to hide or pretend I'm not, it's just not often relevant to what I'm writing about.  I know a lot of blogging moms are stay at home moms with working husbands.  I am a working mom who stays home and homeschools one child, volunteers at the other child's school and works late into the night to fit in all that needs to get done on any given day.  It's my life.  Even when I was married, the girls' dad used to travel half the year and was gone.  So, although I did not have the same financial responsibilities that I do now, I've been used to doing long stretches of time without breaks. 

Quite frankly, my life is a lot easier now that I'm not married than when I was.  When most people talk about single parenthood they talk of how hard it is.  For me, it's easier.  Even spending an evening with married friends in the midst of turmoil makes me feel lucky to be relieved of that kind of stress in my life.  Making the decision to leave a marriage is an incredibly stressful process, but for me now that it's complete- it's been 4 years- I feel lucky to still have a good friendship with their dad and that we still function as a happy family, separately.  When we go places all together often someone will say, "Oh, you look like such a happy family."  I always say, "We are!  Because we don't live together anymore."  Usually they think I"m kidding- but I'm not.  It was extremely challenging.  People so often say they stay together for the sake of their children.  In my case, I left for the sake of my children.  Our home was an energetic nightmare.  We did not fight in front of the kids, but I felt like my body was going to give out on me if I kept living that life of inner discord.  We did not like each other.  We met while traveling in our early 20's and neither one of us knew ourselves enough to be honest with each other about what we wanted in life, let alone a mate.  When I filed for divorce I felt only relief.  I never even cried- and I'm a crier!  I knew it was the right thing to do.

 He still travels a lot and calls in to talk to the girls and we still often talk for an hour or more on the phone.  We even still travel together sometimes.  There is a particular bond that develops when sharing children with a person that goes far beyond licenses of marriage.  Our relationship is far healthier now than it ever was while we were married.  When I say that to people they automatically assume we're getting back together.  That is not anywhere near the case.  That phase is clearly over and a practical, rather impersonal friendship has taken it's place.  

I needed to provide an updated photo to a local newspaper for an article they're doing on The Little Travelers.  I realized I didn't have any family shots with the little sister's new front teeth, so I hit up my niece to snap a few.  Something about looking at these photos of my family got me thinking about families.  It's the one time when I kind of catch myself and think, 'yup, that's my family.'  It looks small to me.  I'm often around a lot of people and children that sometimes it takes me by surprises to look at the three of us and think, that's it.  The girls still have requests on their birthdays and such for 'the whole family' to do something together.  When just the three of us are together I don't  feel like we're missing anything.   I do not mind attending parent evenings alone as I've gone to movies most of my life alone.  I'm quite an independent, solitary type who doesn't mind those things.  But I did always envision myself to have a very large family when I was a child.  I would read books about people who adopted 20 or more children and always assumed I would be one.  I no longer have that desire as it would be a nightmare to travel with that many children- haha.  I'm not living the life I thought I'd be living when I was a child, but it is the deliberate life I've set out to live for myself as an adult.  Different than I thought, different than I imagined, but definitely good.   

   

Photos taken by Emma, age 8.  I prefer having my photos taken by a child because they view the world differently than adults.

play

There is very little to me in this world that is more satisfying than watching children engaged in real play.  Play that stems from their own imaginations with the resources available to them.  We are currently staying at my mother's house.  A suburban palace in the middle of the desert.  The backyard has one very humiliated tree shaved into the shape of a mushroom and zillions of sharp rocks.  It's called waterless landscaping and is horribly depressing to me.  Never the less the girls find a way to use what's available for their play.  Right now they're really into the American Girl Kaya books so native American play is often the theme.  Here they are preparing a 'meal' which requires grinding grain with rocks.

I believe that this is why it is so important to choose wisely that which children are exposed to.  When choosing books or even movies or TV programs, I make sure that what I choose allows children to 'play into' the stories.  Many modern books do not leave room for this.  Think of the very popular children's book, "No, David!"  Ok, it's a theme most kids can relate to and I get the  point of the book, but in my opinion it does nothing to 'feed' a child's mind.  I like to think of books as food.  I would consider that book candy.  It is fine for a certain occasion but it certainly holds no nutritional value.  The books that I consider brown rice are ones that leave room for children to enter them and then take them into their play.  Some of the Elsa Beskow books like The Children of the Forest and Woody, Hazel and Little Pip were these for my kids in the early years and now some of the American Girl books are that way.  The Molly series to me was so-so, more like white rice, but the Kirsten, Addy and so far Kaya have been good solid nutrition in my book.  The Little House books spurred endless hours of playing last year and this past year we began our journey into Harry Potter, which I find extremely nutritious.  I know there was quite a bit of controversy over the books and my sibling's children were forbidden to read them so I began with a bit of hesitation.  I find them to be incredibly spiritual, thought provoking, archetypal in the best of ways and age and developmentally appropriate for 7 and older for the first book, over 9 for the next few and now we're on hold for a few years for book 5.  The girls have spent endless hours concocting potions in the sandbox, in their rooms, writing their own spell books and the conversations it's spurred.  A few months ago I was eavesdropping on them while in the bath:

Big sister- "If you could be a good witch or a bad witch, which would you choose?"

Little sister-  "Can you turn people into funny things like a frog if you're a good witch?"

Big sister- "I don't think so."

Little sister- "Then bad for sure because I want to turn (enter cousin's name) into a toad!"

Big sister' "I would want to be a good witch so I could turn (enter cousin's name) into a nice girl."

These are really big moral ideas they're grappling with here.   I don't know much about High School Musical and haven't seen any of it, but know really young kids are really into it.  I doubt very much that watching something like that would spur the same conversations in children 6 and 8 years old.  

I know so many people that do not have good story books in their homes.  I'll go to the shelf to choose a book and find lots of naming books- like dinosaurs or books that are more like dictionaries.  Those are fine if there are also stories, but often I find that's not the case.  Stories feed children's souls.  I like to encourage people to check the nutritional value of their book shelves.  Do the stories have warm images that are nourishing to the senses?  Do they have archetypal characters?  Do they leave room to play into them?  Do you feel inwardly satisfied after reading it?  If so, then I'd say it was nutritionally dense and worthy of keeping on the shelf.   

Things I love about the little sister's school

Here are some images that make me smile every day at drop off and pick up:

The cooky chicken running around the Kindy yard.

The back of her classroom.  I love this tree.

 

The teacher does all sorts of fun things with these glasses of colors.  He makes different patterns out of them- like when they were learning their two's he had them all in twos.  Or when they were doing 8, he had 2 red/ 6 blue, 3 red/5 blue, 4 red/4 blue in different windows.  He would just wait until the kids noticed them and figured out the patterns on their own.

The paintings are always a treat to look at.

The wide brimmed hats for the desert sun.

knitting

Both of my girls know how to knit, yet I do not.  It's a kind of strange thing because when they hit a snag I cannot help them.  So far in our experience with each other this is the first thing that I, as their mother, cannot help with.  I know it will not be the last but it's an interesting thing.  My mother is an expert knitter so when we go to her with a 'boo boo' she always makes comments about 'your mother who doesn't know how to knit.'  I rather like the fact that they are learning early on that they can do things I cannot.

In Waldorf schools children learn to knit before they learn to read because using two hands for handwork uses both sides of the brain and they feel prepares the brain for reading.  

I had two different women tell me that their very western doctors both said that they would likely be able to reduce their drug intake once they began knitting.  One was on lithium for psychosis and the other on Paxil for depression.  One was knitting in the waiting room and the dr. noticed and remarked that it was extremely good for the brain and the other it came up in the conversation and he said, "Oh, keep it up and we'll be able to reduce your dosage."  They both had learned as adults after their first graders began knitting in school.  I was thoroughly amazed at these stories.  I also spoke to a woman who works in a nursing home who remarked that the knitters rarely had dementia.  

All handwork is apparently not equal.  Knitting is one of the rare activities that requires both hands to do separate actions, using both sides of the brain together.  Crochet, needle point and sewing use one hand dominated actions, which do not seem to have the same therapeutic effects on the brain.  All these are good reasons for me to learn.  My youngest daughter is determined to teach me.  Each time she knits she asks me if I'd like to do a few stitches.  She guides me with her knitting verse:

Under the fence,

Catch the sheep,

Back we come

And off we leap.

I am particularly impressed with her when she makes an error and happily unravels her work to redo it.  Often she adds one extra stitch, so she undoes the whole row.  I wish I had this level of unattachment to my own mistakes.  Usually I try to ignore them, pretend they're not there or just work with them, rather than go back and fix them.  I suppose this goes back to having a 'weak will.'  sigh.  

The other day when we were at the school store when a cool 4th grade sk8er boy walks in sporting his checkered Vans and says to his mom, "Oh, I need some yarn.  I want to knit another horse."  His mom picks up a skein of yarn that was likely donated to the store as it was a nylon blend- not something the store normally caries.  The boy says, 'No, not that.  That's that crappy stuff they sell at Michael's.' and picks up a plant dyed wool skein for $16.  The mom grimaced at the price and said, 'I think it'll work fine,'  clinging to her $6 skein.  I smile her way and say, "This school definitely creates yarn snobs."  She sighs, laughs and buys the mustard colored plant dyed wool.  The shaggy haired boy takes the yarn from his mom and says, 'cool. thanks.' and runs out the door with it under his arm.  These are the moments when I think our future will be just fine.  For those boys being taught how to use guns at this age there are those who are using knitting needles to make horses.