Ah, morning. We woke up to this view out of our hotel window.
I feel refreshed and ready for exploration. It was a long and stressful travel day yesterday and I kind of started to freak myself out. Each time we went to check it to our next leg of the flight the airline workers would do a double take at the tickets and ask if there had been a mistake. The first few times I laughed it off and confidently replied, "Nope." Then again going through security when we needed to show our boarding passes the questions were non-stop, "Why are you going there?" and my favorite, "Are you in the military?" Um, as if the US currently has military in Iran!! I try to be polite and say, "I hope not because I sure would have a hard time finding the base." When I say I am going as a tourist they would inevitably look at the girls with concern and say, "Good luck and please be very careful." Going through passport control in Frankfurt the officer says in his best Achtung voice after leafing through our passports, "Lady, Let me ask you a qvestion." My heart begins to pound and he continues, "Did zey tell you must wear like zis on your photo for za visa?" referring of course to our hejab. "Yes," I reply and he says, "I see." As he's shaking his head in disapproval. He cocks his head and hands me back our passports. After quite a few of these interchanges and no sleep I started questioning myself and wondering what the heck I was thinking. Checking into Iran Air for our last flight my nerves got the best of me- or my bowels I should say. We waited in line and of course were approached by an airline worker who was sure we were in the wrong line, and just when we were next in line I needed to bail out and speed walk to the nearest WC. Upon return to the counter we had to go to the end of the line and wait again. The girls were not happy. But finally we had our boarding passes to Tehran. My stomach did not relax until we met our guide.
I love a family friendly airport! These were available everywhere in the Tehran airport. uh, for free.
Now it's morning and we're ready to see what this place has to offer. I'm realizing how completely strange it is for Iranians to see a woman traveling alone with children. This morning at breakfast it was quite amusing to see all these businessmen come to breakfast and nearly have their eyes pop out when they spotted us and then tried to look all casual about it. The big sister says, "How come we're the only girls here?" So I say, "Well, women don't really travel here much. She looks incredulous and responds, "What??" "Then why are the rooms mostly pink?" My thoughts exactly. Well, close anyway- haha! Ah, to be so young and fresh in your perspective!
The girls wanted to get on Americangirl.com this morning to look something up for their Christmas list and we got the "Forbidden Website" notice! I don't know why it surprised me, but it did. I mean those dolls are pretty wholesome but they do promote independence. Then for fun I tried Disney and got through! Barbie.com was blocked but Pbs.org was not. Interesting...
Then we head out. I am struck by the amount of women wearing a chador- the black cloak type thing. About 50% of women choose to wear this and the women I asked said would continue to wear it even if the law over turned and they were free to choose what to wear.
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We first head out to a garden and animal park this morning. As with many foreign countries it is full of students on a school trip. This means one teacher with 30 well behaved students with no problems. I think back to the last field trip of my daughter- 18 students, a teacher, aid, and about 10 parents and still it was difficult to keep track of everyone. . There were a few groups of elementary school girls with their teacher who were all very eager to practice their English. I'm still a bit nervous about saying where I'm from but do it anyway. The students asked very politely if they could take photos with us and spoke confidently. It's unusual to see such closeness between the teacher and her students. Things we've deemed illegal in our country such as teachers touching students is still allowed here. Some girls cling to their teacher or slide their arms around her waist and she theirs. Many of the girls hold hands or walk arm in arm. I tell our guide about our laws about touching and she says, "Even for woman teacher to girl students?" Yes, I tell her and she says, "So your country is even more strict than ours?"
We went out to lunch in the equivalent of Tehran's Beverly Hills in an upscale mall today.
And it turns out food in upscale Tehran is considerably more expensive than street food! Try nearly $35 for lunch! yikes, by our standards!
Here's a sight you certainly would not see in the states!
Expensive bags left behind at the table while at the buffet! I explain to our guide that purses are never left behind- especially by the rich! She giggles and says, "I've heard about such things in your country." This situation smacks of the American point of view pitying those that have 'less freedom' than we do. We often forget about the freedoms we do not have that people in other countries do. Unlike the popular pro-military bumper sticker, "Freedom has a price" I do not consider the biggest price for freedom the need to bomb other countries spending our own countries lives in order to 'keep it.' I consider the greater price for freedom the little every day things we give up to be the greater price. Women in most of our country cannot walk around safely in our streets at night but they can here. Most Americans do not consider that a loss of freedom. For those of us that have lived in countries where that fear does not exist feel a kind of liberation that we've never felt before walking our own streets.
I remember the first time I came home after a year in Japan and was meeting my dad at a coffee shop near LAX. I remember feeling nearly panicked at 24 years old to be walking around with my camera bag on my shoulder from the parking lot to the coffee shop. My heart was racing, I began to walk extremely quickly, I had my car key poking through my fist as I had been taught by police men who came to visit us in high school about female safety. After a whole year of total freedom I didn't know how to behave again in LA and kind of freaked out.
I spent all of my high school and college years in this heightened state of anxiety while fetching my car. Yes, it was the suburbs of LA, but considered a 'very safe' and conservative one. Not until later in life when I learned about intuition and law of attraction did I begin to relax when walking to my car at night. I was taught by my teachers, law enforcement, and special detective agents in high school how to walk with purpose looking straight forward, check my car from underneath and in the backseat before unlocking it, never to park near shrubs or bushes, always directly under an overhead light and was encouraged to take self-defense classes to be 'prepared.' It sounds oddly similar to what we would consider living in a terrorist state. Shows like Oprah were full of tips like this as well in the 80's and 90's. This was the price I paid for living as a woman in a 'free country.' No, I was not forced to wear modest clothing but I would be naïve and stupid to think I grew up without impositions on my freedoms. We just don't call it that while pitying and judging other 'oppressed' women.
We walk through the mall afterward that hosts shops with names like Prada, Gucci, Rolex and other names I'm equally unfamiliar with . I was looking for a lighter 'manteaux' made of cotton since they're having an unexpected heat wave this week. Our guide informs me about girls who are wearing shorter than regulation shirts and their hejab pushed far back onto their heads as it is between the hours of noon and 4pm, where the morals police is more lenient and does not patrol at this time. Come 4 o'clock the girls will either go home or put on a coat over the top and pull their headscarves further forward with less hair showing in the front. Hair showing out of the back is also not allowed.
There were plenty of girls with heavy make up and bleached hair cruising the mall as well. It is fashionable these days to have a nose job. The face is the one thing that is allowed to show here so fixing your nose is as popular as getting plastic boobs at home. Our guide tells us that girls that are not so well to do often wear fake bandages on their face, as wearing these bandages out in public are a sign of prestige. It is apparently equally popular for boys and men as well. We even saw a manikin in a store window with nose job bandages on his face.
Then we headed to a park right at the base of the mountains where many college students go to hang out and indulge in a little co-ed privacy.
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Here couples will hold hands and stroll together, sit in large groups talking and laughing together and the mood is very light and innocent. In many ways I envy this sort of connection. They feel like just being in the presence of the other sex is in itself a privilege since it's not really allowed in society. Watching them interact really made me smile.
The boys...
are watching the girls. Girls that wear chadors are either very religious themselves, or have parents that are and require their daughters to wear them. You can't tell on the outside and I hear it's sometimes a case of the Catholic school girls- can be more racy than her more mainstream counterparts. Or she could indeed be very pure, which is sought after by many men and of course parents looking for their sons. There is no way to fasten a chador- the only way to keep it on is by clutching it with your hands and holding it in the front.
And the best love of all does not need hiding...
Our guide's parents lived in France when the Revolution broke out in 1979. Upon hearing of the trouble they returned to their homeland because they felt a responsibility to come back and help. Most of their friends fled. Her father is a writer and was thrown in jail for the content of his writings. Still now he attempts to get his writings published. Things are changing a bit and with the internet is having a bit more exposure. She and her parents are very proud to have stayed here to attempt to be the agents of change. The brightest and most intelligent usually leave. She said most of her friends have also left, many to Canada for a life of more freedom and that it's difficult losing all her friends all the time but she will stay. When I asked why she replied, "If I go I will have freedom and can do many things and shop and wear what I want, but I'm a journalist. I'm a writer. What would I write about, shopping? I would lose my purpose and the thing I love most."
This reminds me of a speaker I once saw at the girls' school who said, "Mothers just want their children to grow up to be happy. Fathers want their children to grow up to be successful. In Waldorf education we aim at neither. Rather our hope is that the children grow up to find meaningful work and lead a purpose driven life." I like that. We couldn't really say Mother Theresa was 'happy.' But satisfied with how she lived her life, absolutely. I don't think they need to be mutually exclusive. Our guide has found meaning in her life and is not willing to trade it for a superficial happiness. She's still in her 20's and I imagine her mother must be very proud of her. Many women I know my own age are still looking for this meaning in their own lives- wondering, "What am I supposed to do with my life?" We spend all this time talking about the importance of freedom in the US, but what are most people doing with it? If we have it, do we not have some sort of responsibility to use it in a productive manner?
She takes us to the airport at night for our flight to Shiraz. After spending one day with this woman I am truly saddened by our goodbye. I hope we will stay in contact and write to each other.
