the little travelers * travel notes

backyard camp-not

Well, it was indeed a toasty night.  The cousins came over and everyone wanted to do the camp out at grandma's house.  She is just filling a pool with water which was definitely the highlight of the night.  This was taken around 10pm!  And yes, that water is straight from the hose and chilly.

There is something so fun about playing outside in the dark!  The harsh flash makes for awful pictures, but fun was had!

We didn't need sleeping bags or a tent here so the digs were on the cushy side!

But somewhere around midnight everyone decided they were way too hot- as it was still around 96 degrees to actually sleep, so they all headed in, except grandma who made it through the entire night.  Ironically, she was the only one who said she didn't want to join us for a night outside.

They still wanted to 'camp' so ended up here on the floor.  I think we may have to wait until fall to start sleeping outdoors again...

I do really love to sleep outside whenever possible and even if not outside I sleep with my windows all the way open for some good fresh air at night.  

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I just got this in my mailbox this morning, which I highly recommend listening to.  It is David Wolfe talking on the new scientific information on walking barefoot.  It's really great information!  And well, I like it because it justifies me letting my littles go barefoot all the time- haha!  I mean, it's one of those things where it is the most basic common sense principal in the world, but now we have scientific information to 'prove' that the world is in fact orderly and all of our modern conveniences interfere with the basic nature of the planet and if we would just return to a more natural state we'd be a lot better off.  Just like the sunglasses thing.  Now there are lots of studies saying that blocking UV rays from our retinas contributes to depression because those light rays are what help keep the brain in balance.  I know plenty of people that never walk outside without sunglasses and rubber soled shoes and a whole lot of sunscreen on.

One of the things I love about David's clip is that he mentions Steiner.  For those that are into Waldorf education- and I understand that not everyone is!! (I recently got a really intense hate email by an irate woman telling me I was ruining my children by exposing them to Waldorf- hahaha!!!)- it is a nice confirmation of some of the principals therein.  He talks about EMF fields and how exposure to the natural world eliminates them.  One of the main principals in Waldorf is having all natural materials for young children to play with.  Now again, through scientific research we are able to see the difference between a natural wooden toy and one make from plastics and other artificial materials.  I was recently at a neighbor's house and was again stunned by the toys available for her children.  Everything was made of synthetics and almost all of them were battery operated plastic toys.  Wow, was  the energy in that room toxic!  Plus the air condition running 24/7 here in Arizona - so who knows the last time a window was open.   I could hardly stand to spend the 5 minutes I was there in that room.  And then I'm reminded that most of the children in this country live in very similar environments.  It's nuts.  

I've also recently been turned on the Ringing Cedars series by a friend and can't put them down!  They're pretty out there and poorly written but some of the information in them is just so fascinating!  The basic story is that this Russian guy meets this woman who lives in Siberia in the woods alone and was mostly raised by animals.  It is much debated whether or not she truly exists and all of that- but there is definitely lots of interesting information about how to get along with the natural world.  For example, she says all of the animal and plant kingdoms are here to serve Man but we don't realize it.  Like when bugs crawl on our skin and bite us- it is apparently to help us detoxify and clean and open our pores and where the bug bites is very specific to our individual condition.  Now whether or not this is actually true - who knows!  But I told my kids and now when little bugs crawl on them we just watch to where the bug crawls and whether or not they will bite.  As opposed to what used to happen- a good swat and irritation by being bitten.  She gives info on planting your own garden and says that before planting a seed you should put it under your tongue for a certain amount of time and the fruit or vegetable will grow with the precise nutrients that your body is in need of!  I mean just the possibility of that being true is truly incredible!  Nature is so incredibly intelligent.  She also says that the more children are raised in nature the more they will excel technologically later since nothing that is ever invented doesn't already exist in nature.  There is also a dvd available about a school in Russia that is based on some of her work- the kids built the school themselves, do the entire 10 yr curriculum in one year and graduate at 17 with Master's degrees.  It all looks very fascinating and I can't wait to learn more...

The Great American Backyard Campout

is coming this Saturday, June 27th!  We are planning on participating even though we're in Arizona right now and nights are in the 90's!  It'll be a toasty night with no covers but should be fun.  This is such a great way to add adventure and fun to our lives when at home and not traveling.  We hope many of you will join us and post pictures and stories afterwards.  

Iran

I've received quite a few emails from many of you asking my opinion about what is happening in Iran right now.   I will say that this is exactly what most of the people I spoke with when we were there last fall, had expected.  Obama had just been elected but not yet inaugurated and many of the people spoke of hope for a president they could also respect when their election came next.  I did not meet anyone who was in favor of Ahmadinejad.  Yet everyone I spoke to said they feared that because Khamenei liked him he would remain in office whether or not he won the vote.  This was entirely expected.  They've had a chance to prepare and knew what was in store for them.  I watch in great admiration to those standing up to that regime.  I feel honored to have met many of the citizens there last year and trust that this is the time they've been waiting for to make the change.  

There are a few points I find irritating by the US press- there's been a lot of talk about whether or not Obama has done enough to speak out against the regime and stand with those opposing it.  I've heard a lot about how 'they' are looking to him as the leader of the free world for support.  I find this point of view incredibly ethnocentric and really bothersome.  In that statement, there is an implied assumption that the Iranian people cannot organize themselves or have their own ideas about what they are wanting.  First of all, let's all please remember that democracy is not an American idea!  Keep in mind that the very first recorded model of a democratic society came from Iran thousands of years ago!  Most Iranians I spoke to do not want an American version of democracy.  Yes, they are looking for greater freedoms, of course, however, they are wanting it on their own terms and in a way that suits them.  The chador is a voluntary piece of clothing, yet about 50% of the women choose to wear it.  Many women would like to choose to not cover their head at all, however, many find the dress that American women wear extremely distasteful and vulgar and do not want it to be allowed on their streets either.  There is a deeply moral vein running through the country that 95% of the people I spoke with would like to keep.  It is a very decent, family oriented culture, due in part to their laws.  Most I spoke with do not want to throw the baby out with the bath water.  They are not at all looking to make Iran like the US!  They just want more flexibility to make more of their own choices.  But they are a very old and wise society and realize that with more freedom comes the other parts the US often does not recognize- high teen birth rates, illiteracy, a failing school system, high percentage of fatherless families, high theft and murder rates.  If the US with all of its great freedoms was really such a fantastic system would we top the world in school shootings?

Many Americans like to think that freedom is everything.  The propaganda here tells us that Iran hates America because we stand for freedom and they stand for oppression so naturally they hate us.  I found that most people there do not hate Americans at all but do feel (like I do) that there are many things in this country that have crept into other Asian countries in particular that have decreased the quality of life in many areas.  Again, it comes down to a moral demise.  I don't think anyone that is sober can look at an area like Phuket, Thailand or Kuta Beach, Bali and feel good about what western culture had brought to these areas.  Areas that were immersed in Hinduism or  Buddhism that are now areas full of bars, prostitution and drugs.  There are clinics on every corner for STDs, tons of filthy Western men looking for very young Asian girls fueling the sex trade, lots of women left behind to take care of children born out of these trade or young girls left infertile by multiple abortions.  This is all part of our western freedoms.  This is the part that many righteous Americans do not want to take responsibility for, but it's part of the package.  

In Iran right now, there are many capable, intelligent, great thinkers, philosophers and activists that have a vision for their country.  There are plenty of political activists that have been in jail multiple times, who have spread literature underground for the past 30 years!  Iran has one of the most honorable histories of thinkers in the world.  Hafez is who Goethe read and influenced him.  There is no shortage of great minds and great hearts in that country.  They are by no means an aimless group of people looking to the west for direction.  They have been suppressed and are now taking back control of this country.  I'm watching with great hope and anticipation of what their future holds.  My prayers are definitely with all the people there as they move through this point in their history.  And I am a firm believer in the old adage that, "The greatest tragedy is not death, but rather a life without purpose."   There is a lot of purpose bubbling up to the surface right now.  Let's all join in them in that purpose driven life.  Let's be inspired to do something meaningful with our own day today.  

And let's pray that peace, love, harmony and joy return to Iran asap!!!

family footsteps

Both of my parents are German immigrants.  My dad first came to Canada, then Chicago to Berkley and then down to the LA area.  My mom came to New York and then to LA, where she soon after met my dad.

In Bremerhaven, Germany they have set up a new Immigrants Museum that was fantastic.  It mostly highlighted the immigrant from the early 1900's rather than the 1960's when my parents came but it was great for the kids to see the process of how many immigrants came to this country and how they got here. 

They had some really great luggage around here!

This was 3rd class and I absolutely cannot imagine sleeping in one of these cabins with children for 6 weeks!  Imagine all the vomit that would all over the place.  uh.

Such a different life than the immigrants that came before us...

This was the Ellis Island portion and they had all sorts of personal stories to listen to on headphones that were all quite powerful.  Many having to do with loss and hope for a new life.  It's good to put our current economic 'crisis' into perspective when we think about many of our ancestors who had to come here, build houses, plant crops and work 24/7 to make it.  Many of us today are complaining about not being able to eat out as much these days.  We all really have it so easy compared to generations past.  Thank goodness!!

food

"I feel barfy" is a phrase I've been hearing a whole lot since returning from Germany from the little sister in particular.  She has wheat, soy, dust, mold, egg and a few other allergies and is a lot more sensitive to foods than her sister.  While traveling I try really hard not to get too fussy over food and unless it's going to really wreak havoc on her than just let it slide as much as possible.  In Germany we ate white wheat rolls a lot!  Nearly all meals in restaurants are served with one and while staying in hotels and with my uncle we had them every morning for breakfast.  None of us had any issues with stomach aches or 'feeling barfy' after we ate.  The same goes for Iran- where we ate wheat flatbread with every single meal.  No stomach issues whatsoever.  The first morning back in Cali I ate a half a grapefruit and a glass of water and had a very familiar stomach ache that happens to me often here in the states.  While driving from CA to Arizona we stopped at Sizzler for the salad bar, which is actually the best choice is Blythe!  It's that or McDonald's. Within 15 minutes of eating and back on the hwy I started major stomach cramps, sweating and barely made it to the next rest stop and the little one complaining of feeling barfy.  Ditto after a stop at Subway.  Ditto the next night at Mom's favorite Chinese restaurant.  Ditto after eating a Costco muffin at a neighbor's house... What percentage of our population is now diagnosed with IBS???  

This all leads me to believe that there is something in our food.  To make matters worse I'm reading Omnivore's Dilemma- a very scary book.  For example they took foods from McDonald's and did a molecular analysis of it and found it was primarily corn!  The coke registers as 100% corn, milk shake as 78%, chicken nuggets 56%, cheeseburger 52% & fries 23%!  Because livestock eats all corn and soy now even though it looks like we're eating beef, cheese, dairy and potatoes really we're eating mostly corn and soy at every meal.  

Typically we shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joes and farmer's markets and don't consume a lot of packaged things.  But in Germany we ate whatever  we were offered and particularly the last few weeks while staying with relatives we ate a lot of chocolate, candy, chips, Nutella with breakfast, prosciutto type pork meats, bratwurst and all sorts of stuff that we wouldn't ordinarily eat and none of us had any issues at all.  I know I've just spent 3 months living with my brother the conspiracy theorist- but it does seem really odd to me that our food makes us sick and then pharmaceutical companies come along and design all sorts of 'remedies'  that will solve the problem when the problem is our food to begin with that now also has loads of pharmaceuticals in it.  Germany does not allow GMOs in their food and is much stricter about what it allows livestock to eat.  And we still saw plenty of cows on actual grass!  Something has definitely gone dramatically wrong with our food supply here in the good ol' US of A and it should concern all of us.  Did I mention not a single stomach ache in IRAN???  Iran has better (cleaner) food than we do here.

pirate festival

Up in the north of Germany, in a little seaside town called Cuxhaven, is where my mom grew up.  While visiting up there we had loads of fun learning about pirate lore.  The tide in that area goes way out and many ships were stranded and raided by pirates steering unsuspecting voyagers in the wrong direction.  It is said that there are still mountains of gold hidden away somewhere along the shore here.  

So we thought taking in a pirate festival would be a grand thing to do!  There were so many cute ideas here that would easily translate into a school's festival or a birthday party.

Sword making

I thought roasting bread was ingenious!  Such a great alternative to marshmallows.  And this is a great patience builder as it took about 15 minutes for the bread to bake.  This is why Europeans are so different than Americans!  No American child would be expected to wait a whole 15 minutes while during his bread dough.  (outside of Waldorf schools, that is)

 

We had to exchange out money for pirate money and had to pay for all food and crafts with this currency instead.  Wood money, cloth bag.

Bandana activity

Super fun day of pirating!

what time zone am I in???

After much flying back and forth, packing up a U-HAUL with my Mom and unloading LOTS of boxes and furniture I finally got my computer plugged back in and dug up my little drive with a few photos of the fairy tale tour on it.  We had a really fun time and would not mind one bit if I were Rapunzel for a year or so locked up in that tower of hers!  

The view from that place was so peaceful and restful to me...  just looking at it again after the hustle and bustle of New York and driving across the desert makes me want to say, "Aaaahhhhhhh..."

There were lots of lovely views out of little windows from quaint hotel rooms.

And in this castle apparently answering the question at the front desk during check-in, "Is that Ms. or Mrs.?" with a "Definitely Ms." and a bat of the eye-lashes was the right thing to do since the man asking set up the banquet room downstairs usually reserved for weddings just for us!  score.  The kids had sooo much fun- as did the adults.

'Quaint' and 'picturesque' sum up the entire trip.  We visited Hansel and Gretel's  and Snow White's forests, Sleeping Beauty and Rapulzel's castles, Hameln to see the Pied Piper's town, and the house where the brothers Grimm lived.  

Being back just over a week I miss it already.  Particularly going to New York City right after where I walked by a few schools with not even one single tree or blade of grass growing on the entire campus.  There was so much greenery in Germany even in the big cities- it would be nice if we could incorporate more of that into more of our cities here.

Here's one for the humor files.  Who can imagine a group of moms sitting around in a 'kegel arena'  all doing kegels together!  hahahaha...  Something my midwife would be real happy about I'm sure!  "Did you do your kegels today??"  

back stateside to repack

Our fairytale adventure was fabulous!  Then we had the very fortunate situation of staying with my uncle for a week with NO internet connection!  It was a fabulous break.  My mom's side of the family is still firmly planted in small town Germany.  We hung out in the forest, rode bikes everyday on the miles and miles of paved bike trails, met a new round of 2nd cousins, went to farms, enjoyed being there at the peak of white asparagus season and ate the best potatoes we've ever tasted.  There will be pictures to follow but I'm just in LA for a day (extraordinarily depressing after the green of Germany!) to do a bit of laundry and then am off to NYC for the Book Expo.  I'll be hanging out at the Mom's Choice Award booth most days for those going.  I'd love to meet and chat! 

last day in Berlin

Today is already our last day here in Berlin.  We're packed up and ready to hit the road for a few weeks and then head back home for a bit.  Here are a few things I will miss about this city:

My morning walks around the lake.  This little path was definitely love at first sight even though it had little ice pockets on it when we first arrived and no color around whatsoever.  Every day the love has grown deeper as it has put on quite a show in the last few weeks!

The path is fabulous in the early morning all alone but equally charming later in the day with the entire brood.

I have loved watching this little 'lake' (to me a big pond- but it is technically a lake on the map) go from cracked ice to lush green complete with lily pads!  We've only seen lily pads in Asia before this so it's a funny change of reference for us.  They seem so perfect in a Balinese temple or Japanese garden- but are equally lovely in a German pond in the city.

I will miss bringing left over breakfast to poor broken foot here.  The poor duck can only swim in circles due to his broken or malformed leg.  He still has that patient little look on his face when trying to swim towards food in the water but just goes in circles.  All of our aim has improved by trying to get it as close as possible to him.

I will certainly miss watching these little darlings grow up.

I'll miss this crazy dude watching me while at the park with the kids. And of course it goes without saying will miss all the fabulous parks this city has to offer.  I've never been a huge fan of parks or kids playgrounds but must say I'm a convert.  The kids have had so much fun on these playgrounds in the past few months.

I'll miss the sidewalk outside of our apartment.  These days whenever we go anywhere we are rolled out the pink carpet, which I think is even more fabulous than a red one.  I took a landscaping class back in college where one whole lesson was one choosing trees with minimal 'tree litter.'  Can you imagine anything more depressing?  Tree litter??  This must be why Southern California feels so stale and over planned.  I love all the tree litter happening around here these days.  There is a huge tree outside of my brother's work where his co-workers told him that he shouldn't park under during the summer months because it drops a sap that ruins car paint- so no one parks there.  I guarantee if that happened in LA, the city would be sued and the tree removed.  

I will definitely miss the tree litter.

I will miss all the kids peeing in the bushes at the park- not only ours but lots of others as well.  It is the common bathroom with no fuss about it.

I'll miss the gorgeous lampposts,

and street signs.

And the knock out landmarks around each corner. (Some things just look more suitable to b & w, don't they?)

I'll miss downtown city sidewalks that look like this.

And bike paths like this- though I do not even have a bike here!  I just imagine myself biking on these paths and love that the sidewalks are bike free!  With a bunch of kids it so nice to not have to watch out because this is definitely a biking culture here, which is another thing I will miss.

I will miss this city with its rather illustrious past.  Here we have the old Checkpoint Charlie- hardly recognizable since the last time I was here nearly 20 years ago.

And here the last bit of The Berlin Wall they've kept up as a memorial.  I was here in 1990 when the wall was being torn down.  Everyone was after bits of the wall and I thought I'd like to be different so took a piece of rebar that you can see sticking out through the wall here.  I still have it in some box in storage somewhere.  Luckily my mom was here a few months before me and brought home bags of pieces of the wall so I was able to glue a bunch of small shards around a frame of my backpacking pal Jenny and myself standing in front of a section under deconstruction.  They are still selling small pieces as souvenirs. 

I will miss being in this city that has taken a hard hit and recovered.

I'll miss grand architecture around every corner.

I'll miss the flea markets with gobs of gorgeous books for sale.  Even though I purchase none of them because I have a daughter with a dust mite allergy- and they absolutely adore old books.  I just love the way they look.

So many great things about this city that we bid farewell today.  I hope someday to be back and play in its midst again.  But for now we're on our way to the land of the brothers Grimm.  Yup, we're going to be looking for some real life fairy tales.

With guidebook in hand we will say our good-byes for a bit.  We'll be taking a little blogging break as I do not want to concern myself with finding little inns with high speed internet.  We're going to try to get as lost as possible into the woods of Snow White, Hansel & Gretel and The Frog Prince.  We'll see you on the other side.

Rainy Days

Our third day of rain in a row so we've been busy inside these days.

We thought we'd brighten up the inside a bit with some happy dishtowels.  The one on the left is by the big sister (age 9).  I'm really happy that she loves to stitch and does not work from patterns.  She tends to love rules and order so her just picking up a needle and thread and having a vague sense of what she wants to do and then realizing it is a very fun thing to watch.

Mine is in process on the right with bottom trim and wild paisleys to still come.  I also work freeform just seeing what happens as I go.

Here's something from cousin Emma (9 yrs) who chose something a bit more abstract.  This is called 'snow storm.'  

We also had a birthday in the house this week so the 7 year old whipped up this number which reads, "Happy Birthday Cora."  It's a bit tough to read with the super light pink but she made this all on her own- didn't even ask for help threading the needle, which she normally does.  I was really impressed with her flower and this is the first I've seen her do lettering.  She wanted to work on it as a surprise and then gave it in secret to her newly 3 yr old cousin.  After she gave it to her she came to me and showed it to me and said, "I gave it to Cora, but she didn't like it so I think I'll take out the letters and make something else for myself now."  This is when I'm so impressed with my littles that it almost makes me want to cry.  She was so unattached to her very honest little cousin telling her she didn't want it so just thought of what to do next.  There was no lamenting over the past or crying about it or hurt feelings of any sort.  Oh, how I wish I could respond that like to my good intentions that aren't received with the reaction I'd hoped for!!  This is one of those moments when our children really are our best teachers.

There's been a whole lot of game making going on as well.

The most amusing part of this rainy spell is the two older ones deciding to take ballet online.  They were inspired by a recent read of Ballet Shoes by Noel Steatfeild and then watching the movie afterward.  They dug up some very old ballet outfits from the dress-up box and downloaded a lesson taught by a rather stuffy elderly British woman.  It is good humor to watch these two in action.  We will definitely be checking out the other books in this series like Theatre Shoes, Tennis Shoes & Skating Shoes.

The old cliche about our children being our greatest teachers proves to be true so often in my life.  The older girls think they are ready to star in swan lake- they are so confident in their very minimal ballet skills and confidently move forward in their training.  The little one with her gift-giving rejection that didn't phase her.  There is so much for me to learn around here.  What have your children taught you this week?

ethics vs. religion

There is a big debate these days in Berlin over ethics and religion in school.  It is going to the ballots as to whether children will be taught religion or ethics.  Right now all children have mandatory ethics classes and the option to have religion class in addition.   But the religious parties want it to be ethics or religion, not religion in addition to ethics.  They feel that the ethics classes are watered down and remove the need for religion in a person's life- teaching that all you have to do it be a good person in life and that will be enough without the need for God.  

It's very interesting to watch this debate for the public school sector since we technically have separation of church and state in the US.  What are your thoughts?  Do you think mandatory ethics classes are a good idea in public school?  I know lots of you homeschool but for those of you that use curricula do you include ethics as a subject?  Or is it something you just sort of incorporate into your everyday lives?  And if so, how??

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Winner for the Family Travel Flicker Contest comes to us from The Five Mckays: This picture is sooo gorgeous- obviously speaks for itself.

Winner for the Global Crafts & Activities Flicker contest by HerbalT is:

Be sure to enter for your chance to win on of The Little Traveler's DVDs!

flea market

Just walking up to the row of stalls lined up along the river gets me in the mood.  Though we're not buying, just looking is its own delight.  That this flea market is set among the most inspiring architecture rather than a dusty parking lot is a huge bonus.

We have never seen twig pencils this big before!  The girls thought they looked a little impractical for drawing but I loved how they looked!

Windy scarves.

I love the two on the bike in the corner.  I fantasize about a time when I will come to Europe to simply buy art I love...

eating bunnies

Vegetarians don't read this post!  Yup, we ate rabbit.  Rabbit is in every grocery store here right next to the chicken and the pigs.  At first the girls were kind of grossed out by it- well, because:

But we've also had a pet chicken and regularly eat chicken.  We are an omnivorous family.  I've spend years as a vegetarian and most of college as a vegan, but I must say I definitely feel better, don't have anemia and feel more emotionally balanced when I eat meat, so I do.

This was my first time to cook rabbit and it was unusual getting used to seeing such different shapes of animal in the pot.  We used this recipe going for a french style rabbit.

We dredged and browned the rabbit, which did have an unusual order.

But once the onions, mushrooms, bacon and garlic were in all was well.

We had it with roast potatoes and lots of roast garlic.  I don't know about your kids, but mine absolutely cannot get enough garlic in their lives so I always tuck in a few extra heads around the side of the pan.

It came out of the oven looking like this and smelled incredible.  

Seven out of eight people in this house could subside entirely on this concoction- roasted garlic smeared on a fresh out of the oven loaf of 'farmer's bread.'  It went exceptionally well with the rabbit

and was heavenly dipped in the sauce.  This sauce was so good we saved it and used it over pan fried turkey fillets two days later.

Comments from the peanut gallery:

"Tastes kind of like chicken but a little different."

"Mmmm, I love it."

"When can we have it again?"

"It tastes like frog legs but at least it didn't come with blood pudding."  (memories of travels past!)

"It's ok, but I like chicken better."

In all, a successful meal.  Everyone ate it and most loved it.  I try not to get too wrapped up with ethics of food while traveling and really try to expose my girls to local ways of eating so they can make decisions and their own choices when the time comes.  

I often get asked how I 'get my kids to try new foods.'  I don't really have a good answer to this other than I have always offered different foods to them and am always trying new things myself.  I never used baby food or 'kid food' like boxes of frozen chicken nuggets for my kids.  I feed them foods I like to eat and since I have never craved a frozen, breaded reconstituted piece of chicken before it was not something that I was drawn to feed my kids.  I've never cooked separate foods for my kids and serve one dinner for everyone.  If there is something they do not like I do not make them eat it.  There will always be something that they can eat and if they only eat an apple while sitting at the table with us that's fine with me.  I do not mind if they go to the fridge and get a bowl of applesauce or yogurt if they're really hungry and something is particularly distasteful to them.  I've eaten rattle snack, beef penis, duck webs, pig uterus, bird saliva - but I can't stand peas.  They are actually pickier than I'd like but when compared to most American children I suppose I shouldn't complain because they do usually at least try new things.  

The flip side is that they are kind of food snobs at this point.  When we lived in Cali we lived directly behind a Wendy's.  One night when I was particularly pooped I said as we passed, "Let's just go through the drive-thru."  Oh, the protest that I heard, "No, that's disgusting!"  "I am not eating fast food."  "I'll totally get a stomach ache like last time (when a friend took her.)"  Then the 8 yr old said, "There's salmon in the freezer and it is not hard to put a little garlic and olive oil on a piece of fish and stick it in the oven."  So I was put right into place and fast food was not eaten for dinner!

Our current blessing that I'm really enjoying:

The silver rain,

The golden sun,

The fields where golden poppies run.

And all the ripples of the wheat

are in the bread (they've been substituting whatever wheat is in - pancakes, biscuits, tortillas) we love to eat.

So when we sit for every meal

and give our thanks we always feel

That we are eating rain and sun and fields where golden poppies run.

It took the older girls about 10 minutes to learn it and the 2 and  4 yr old about a week before they knew it completely.

Berlin zoo

I know people have very mixed reactions to zoos and I know plenty of people who will not even visit them as a protest to captive animals.  I get that.  But I love to visit zoos in other countries because to me it tells me a lot about their culture.  Locals here had told us that they do not like this zoo due to small habitats and poor conditions so our hopes were not too high.   I nearly cried at a zoo in Japan once and Iran's treatment of caged animals was not more impressive than their reputation for human rights, let's just say.  But if the conditions at this zoo were 'bad' then, well, the rest of the world might as well close down their zoos and call it a day.

primate playground island.  

I liked their use of ditches with water rather than high fencing.  It let us get really close to the animals and see them better than we ever have before at any other zoo.  This again would be impossible in our sue happy culture!  There is nothing from stopping a teen on a dare to jump the ditch and get to the animals or a small child not being watched by their parent to fall into the ditch.  This is the aspect of being in places like here and Japan that I enjoy the most.  The government expects their citizens to take personal responsibility.  In Japan they go so far as to make the family of someone who commits suicide on the train tracks to pay for the damage, clean up and loss of income due to postponed trains.  In the States the family would likely try to sue the train for not stopping.

We really got to get a good look at the animals!  Toenails, eyelids, nostrils were all in good plain sight.

Now the animal I didn't need such a close look at was wild piggy here!  You know, since I'd already seen one about one foot away from my face.  Yup, the one in the middle with the tusks is exactly what the one in the forest looked like.  He is the substance of my nightmares.  I know everything is supposed to be beautiful in its own way- but quite frankly I just ain't seeing it here.  That is one ugly animal.

Is it me, or does this bird look like some sort of crazy professor that knows way too much?  I felt like it was Einstein stuck in a bird's body.  When he looked at me I thought I was in one of those weird Disney movies where the animal was going to start talking.  He actually made me nervous.

Not surprisingly there was a playground here and this is where the bulk of the day was spent once again.

The netted sections below are trampolines- nice springy ones like at the circus.  I love that.  There were 3 of those in this structure.  I had a friend at home who could not even get home owners insurance by having a trampoline in the backyard.  And here they are to be used by the general public.

This crazy contraption was great.  Most merry-go-rounds have been removed from public parks in the US due to lawsuits and being considered 'dangerous.'  Mindy commented on parks the other day:

 I'm a professional nanny and I've longed wondered if the increased number of children that we see in the states affected by sensory integration disorders is in some way caused/contributed to by the many ways that we now constrict movement in children and don't allow them to fully experience all that is around them. Seeing the pictures of the different park equipment that allowed all kinds of movement (that definitely would NOT be allowed here) made me look at the statistics of children with sensory issues in Germany. It is astounding to to see what a HUGE difference there is there compared to here.

I couldn't agree more. MIndy, I would love it if you could direct us at specific stats. When I was teaching preschool the number of parents coming to me and informing that their child had some form of sensory integration challenges was at nearly 50%!  I know these things move in trends and this is a hot one now but I agree that limiting movement is a huge contributor.  We knew people who got a pass to Disneyland for their child from their OT mainly for the teacups and the spinning, which was said to really help with treatment.  Since there are no more merry-go-rounds in parks the only spinning that could be found was at Disneyland.  What I have found in my travels to be so interesting is that all over the world people have some sort of spinning devise at parks for children.  It's like everyone knew this was somehow beneficial to the developing brain and naturally put them in.  Most countries still have them.  Japan, Indonesia, Iran, all over Europe all still have theirs.  In Japan all first graders learn to ride a unicycle because the Japanese (rightly) believe that good balance is good for the brain.  This is all now being proven through brain research, but is kind of silly in the same way many things in Western society are now.  Through the ages people have naturally known certain things are beneficial and now science can prove what our grandparents knew through common sense.  

If you ran around the outside it would make it spin.  And yes, kids were flying off of this thing right and left.  Some cried.  Some got a mouth full of dirt when they landed.  Some whacked their heads when they sat up underneath the disc, but all lived.  None of the injuries were serious and the teachers handled them with calm and nonchalance.  They helped clean them up and sent them back off again. 

The structures here require balance, skill, strength and thinking to navigate them.  In contrast to ours at home that require none of those and we wonder why our youth are lacking in the above qualities.

There was a sweet little petting area with lots of new babies to see.  For a big city zoo I'm giving this one a thumbs up.  A good time was had by all and all the kids were bummed when that closed at 6 pm.

 

the best things in life are free!

Like most cliches, this one became a cliche because it's true.  Being surrounded by so much beauty here these days I'm struck by the fact that it is free.  Even if I were the richest person on the planet the flowers would not be more beautiful than they are now.  I couldn't appreciate them more if I were dripping in monetary wealth.

It would not be more delicious to roll down a hill if we were rich than it is now.

Or the thrill of improving a cartwheel.

Trying to outrun a train,

dig a hole to China,

or have a little conversation with a sister.

All this talk of recession and lack, flues from pigs... - and yet the natural world is as abundant as ever.  

Abundant in color, texture, fragrance and sheer volume.  

The trees are not cutting back on their blossoms in preparation for what's to come, the branches are not leaving some limbs without leaves to stock up. 

 The flowers are not holding back their fragrance anticipating the worst.  

Swans are not building smaller nests just in case.

The natural world is as abundant and innovative as ever.  

These flowers are not deciding to bloom at half their size.  These will not only bloom next year the bulbs will multiply.

Spiders are still spinning as diligently as ever.

Right now the air here is full of life and potential.  Wherever we go blossoms are flying through the air.  Trees are dropping their seeds and dandelions are blowing in the wind.  When I stop and think about how each one of these little seeds could turn into a plant, flower or even a mighty old tree one day - it is staggering to think of the potential floating around here.  

The natural world is so wildly skewed towards abundance.  One tree puts off enough seeds in one season to create and entire forest.  But think about the life span of that tree and how many seeds it puts out.  

Think of a papaya or tomato and how many seeds are inside just one fruit.  It's absurd that anyone goes hungry in this world when the world itself is skewed towards wild abundance- no where near 'survival' or even replenishment.  The seeds from a single tomato could easily provide enough tomatoes for an entire family the following season.  The seeds from one tomato plant over the course of one season could provide enough for an entire community the following season.  

Maybe if we all run out of things that are distractions to us we will once again be able to pay a bit more attention to the natural world around us and enjoy it in all its glory.  We will again be focused on the things that are priceless.  Friendship, beauty, connection.

When there is so much overwhelming evidence all around us that all is well, why oh why is it so easy for us to focus on that which is not.  Perhaps if we just shift our attention on what is not only 'working' but really excelling and thriving on this planet we could watch and learn a thing or two.

And thank you April for fw this very interesting article from Newsweek on Nature and its effects on our psychological well-being.

big city living

I'm not a fan of big cities or living in them, but that being said, Berlin has to be more 'rural' and full of natural spots than any other smaller suburban places I've ever lived.  The Germans really value their green spaces and you don't have to go too far to get to a forest, a park or a green belt.  Last weekend we went to Britzer Garden for their Tulipan display.  This place is 90 acres!  When you climb up onto one of their hills you can see it surrounded by high rises.  This is in the city.

This is something I love here  and think every place in the world ought to adopt- public lounge chairs!  Those huge, industrial lounge chairs were the most comfy things ever.  I parked myself in one those for quite some time and nearly fell asleep.  The whole park had chairs and lounge chairs spread out all over the place.  We came here on Friday and spent 6 hours.  We were back Saturday morning at 9am for another 8 hours.  On Saturday we brought a picnic and books and planned to just hang out but there was still so much to see we hardly had any down time at all.  We did not even get to about 1/3 of the park.

The picture here shows the girls right when we arrived to this little spot.  About one minute after this photo was taken the girls all took off their pants so they could go deeper.  People near water in underwear is nothing to scoff at here- particularly in children.  There is no place in the US where a 9 year old could publicly play in her undies without a major uproar- perhaps even ending up with an arrest of the parents.  I was laying there feeling so happy to be here and so free and feeling like going back to the US would be a bit like going back to a prison of sorts when a group of Muslim girls entered the scene.

Berlin, being a major metropolis has a wide variety of ethnicities and nationalities living here.  They were of course fully covered and I was thinking back to myself just a few months ago needing to be fully covered to be outside in Iran.  When I thought of the US from Iran it felt like the freest place on earth and I looked forward to my return and now here I am sort of dreading it.  Everything is relative!!  But what I really do not understand about America is how we got to be so darn prudish!  I mean it was taken over by people seeking freedom!  It was founded upon the ideals of freedom- freedom of thought, expression and religion.  The people who left Europe and immigrated were those seeking greater freedom- so how did we ever get so darn uptight??  I was telling some Germans the other day about how parents had been arrested for taking naked pictures of their own children in the bath at home and how breast feeding in public is illegal in some states as well as G-string bikinis on many public beaches- not to mention going nude or topless!  Why are we so afraid of nudity??

So here are the clothing of some children who got wet in the creek- and you can just imagine the scene a few feet to the left, right?  Anyone having flashes of Pippi and clothes eating  cows?   Oh, and on the subject- we recently saw a bit of Pippi here and that scene had all the kids swimming in their undies and Anika was topless.  That was all edited out of the versions they showed on American TV.  crazy.

This place had it all!

There were little play areas spread out all over the place and again - some of the most innovative play structures I've ever seen.

Bumper swings.  Yup, when everyone swings just right they bump in the middle.

These were rubbery, slippery, bouncy, trampoline like things.  If you jumped from one level to the next with someone else standing in the right spot you could really launch them straight up into the air.

This was rigged up to go in all directions.  They also used it sitting with half of the girls sitting in one direction and half the other- and both could pump in opposite directions.  Little kids were straddling the rope and going side to side.  I think this is brilliant.

Need I say anything about this!  Hours were spent here.

Note the boy in the background walking a tightrope. We've noticed these a lot here too.  In the forest people brought their own and tied it between two trees and were practicing.   And this huge thing- a lawsuit waiting to happen.  Way too tall and metal for our laws these days.

And there was a whole water section, too.  The cafe to the left overlooks the play area and of course serves beer and wine.

Boulders (real, not fiberglass)  and water- not a combo we're likely to encounter in our litigious society.

Almost all public parks here have these industrial strength ping-pong tables.  People bring their own paddles and balls, which come in excellent little cases.

While playing here a group of - hm, I'm not sure what we call these people now- mentally challenged?  They were mentally retarded -even if we're not supposed to say 'retarded' these days I think you all know what I'm talking about.  They were adults ranging in age from their 20's up to 50's and they were here on the playground.  I have an aunt on my dad's side that is retarded here in Germany and of course has been the state's responsibility her whole life.  She is now in her 60's and is very well cared for.  But what struck me most by this group being here is that mentally these people are children even though their bodies are adults.  In the States these groups are usually taken to shopping malls when they go out in public- because we all know how much children love shopping, right?  What gives?  Here, they were 'allowed' to play among the children at the playground.  There was a woman in her 30's who went positively ballistic when she saw the toddler slide.  She started shouting and laughing and clapping and running in circles saying, 'There's a slide!  There's a slide!'  Then ran full speed ahead in her stooped, lopsided posture, drooling on the way and slid down the slide among the toddlers.  No parents were freaked out or moved their kids away.  Then a man in his 40's followed- and how they howled in delight!  The adults that were around all sort of smiled and I think felt just like I did- a bit envious of the joy something so small could bring and the inhibition to express it so fully.

The strollers here are unreal.  Babies really travel in style.  Here these two nappers are covered with mosquito netting for a peaceful sleep.  

Hand made blankets and lammies in the carriage are the norm and in no way 'alternative' here- definitely a mainstream phenomenon.

The rentals available at the entrance.  They also have these wagons at IKEA to use for customers to haul their stuff and kids!  Then there are scooters, bikes and those little bikes with no pedals.  Oh, and admission was 6 Euro for one adult and two kids.  The same it costs for a one way bus ticket to the grocer.  By far the best money I've spent since arriving.

There is an area with sheep where all the girls learned what electric wire is!

And had great fun watching the boys who thought it was 'kool' that one could get shocked through the other's body.  boys.

And it even had a witches garden full of herbs for potions.  I'm telling you, this place had it all!  I'm really starting to appreciate the decline in childbirthing rates here.  The people who do have children have them because they really want them.  All these hours spent here and all these families and children and I did not here one single scolding over a 15 hour period.  Families actually seem to enjoy each other's company!  Imagine that.  Of course families like this exist in the US- it's just that when we go in public places of large gatherings of families at home it is certainly not unusual to overhear some really nasty talk going on between parent and child.  When we were visiting my brother in Indiana and were at a local lake I recall distracting my little ones from a father cursing at and slapping his 10 year old across the face.  In California we live about 30 minutes from Disneyland and usually go once a year- and an hour into it I'm fully exhausted and steering my kids right and left to avoid witnessing some major verbal lashing.  At a waterpark last summer a mother was screaming at her child for being a 'stupid dumb-ass' for letting a retainer fall into the water.  In contrast, this place was quite, peaceful and full of life, laughter and fun.  We were exhausted at the end of each day in the best possible way- from tons of exercise and having a great time.  I'm a convert!  I need to call my mom and see if I can still get dual citizenship.  She is still German after over 30 years in the US.  My dad became a citizen about 40 years ago, but Mama will die a German she claims.  No interest in turning over that Green Card for a passport.  I can't say I blame her.

After 15 hours over two days the only thing I heard from the girls when leaving was, "When are we coming back?"  I could live here.  In this park, I mean.  Pitch a tent and stay forever.  Well, if spring lasted forever, that is!  This place was voted one of the top 10 parks in Germany- I'm thinking I really need to go check out the other 9!

the purity of white

Purity of thought, purity of intent, purity of heart... all things I'm constantly striving towards.  There is just something about white that makes me feel a little purer just by looking at it.  I love that the Japanese wear white at funerals.  It is the color of pure Spirit and death, where one returns to Spirit.  All flowers are also white.  It just feels better and more enlightened than celebrating that return with black.  Here are some images from yesterday that just make me feel like a better person just by looking at them.  It's kind of like cheating to me!  True heaven on earth.

I'm sure Anne Shirley would agree that this could be "The White Way of Delight."

I love this little house around the corner from ours.

i wish...

Daisy chain making was going on in these parts today.

The neighbor saw the making going on and told the girls that if they put the daisy chain under their pillows and make a wish before going to bed it would come true in the morning.

Some wishes I hear around here regularly are things like,

"I wish the wall were made out of candy."

"I wish I could take a bath in agave instead of water."  

"I wish I was a witch and could put a spell on my room so I wouldn't have to clean it."  

"I wish my arms were longer so I could reach into the next room without getting out of my chair."

Which reminds me of a book we love around here.  It covers wishing traditions from 14 different countries, including Japan, Ireland and Iran!  So you know we love it.  

In the name of frivolous wishing here is my list.

I wish they had hazelnut yogurt back in the states like they do here.  (yum.)

I wish I could eat hazelnut Italian ice-cream for every meal and my thighs would not mind.

I wish I had a hazelnut tree in my yard.

I wish a had my little mini blender here so I could try making nettle pesto with hazelnuts.  (saw a recipe for radish tops with hazelnut pesto- but thought I'd like to try with nettles.)

I wish Spring would last forever and I could make the cherry and apple blossoms not blow away.

I wish lilacs, peonies and lilies of the valley would grow in Cali.

I wish my armpits would naturally smell like lilacs on a hot summer day.

I wish I could knit as well as my mom.

I wish I could sing in tune.

I wish my laundry would fold itself.

and I wish I had silky, bone straight hair that didn't friz in humid weather.

There.  Sometimes it feels so good to lighten up a bit and indulge the silly.  What are you wishing for?

temperaments- a day in the life

One of the most frequently emailed questions I get is about the temperaments.  I've written about it quite a few times before but today's lunch at the park seemed like a perfect opportunity to do a little blow by blow tutorial or sorts.  I've decided to take all definitions of the temperaments straight from Wikipedia(in blue) today to keep this as objective as possible since I'll be looking at my own children and those of my brother while playing at the park.  I was using my telephoto lens and was under a tree just observing what was happening with no agenda in mind.  I didn't think of using these photos for this post until after I looked at them and noticed how well they show cased each temperament.  I was thinking of writing about trying to perfect our ranch dressing recipe. So I did not shoot these with stereotyping them into these roles.  They did that on their own just fine!  haha.  I find this so much more fascinating than ranch dressing though!

First let's take a look at the walk to the park.  The big girl holding the small child's hand is our choleric.  She typically walks way ahead of the rest but because she's holding the hand of the slower child she's not quite as far ahead as usual.  The next tallest on the left in front in our melancholic.  Note she is looking down at the ground while walking.  The one in the groovy knee socks is phlegmatic and in the back and the little one is also pretty phlegmatic and pretty much needs to nearly be pulled forward to actually go anywhere.  Then there is the sanguine off to the side catching butterflies, picking dandelions- anything off the path.  

Now let's introduce the individual temperaments.  First we have our choleric.  Wiki says, "season of summer (dry and hot), and the element of fire. A person who is choleric is a doer and a leader. They have a lot of ambition, energy, and passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were cholerics. On the negative side, they are easily angered or bad-tempered."

This is Tigger from the Pooh characters.  Full of life and big on emotion but can run hot and cold with quite a bit of pouting going on.  Waldorf teachers typically recommend fighting fire with fire in the case of a choleric.  They need to know their limits loud and clear but will push them.  Sometimes it can work to throw water on the fire - ignoring a tantrum usually works best- but feeding it by saying, 'What's wrong?"  will only make the fire burn stronger and eventually it will burn out of control.

Next is our melancholic (Eyore):

 "A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholicdisposition. Often very kind and considerate, melancholics can be highly creative – as in poetry and art - but also can become overly pre-occupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world, thus becoming depressed. The temperament is associated with the season of fall/autumn (dry and cold) and the element earth. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist, being very particular about what they want and how they want it in some cases. This often results in being unsatisfied with one's own artistic or creative works and always pointing out to themselves what could and should be improved.

You can see here she is not off on her own pouting, just in her own world and thoughts.  

You can see it in her posture and many melancholics tend to have a slight frame- tall and thin.

Here she is bringing 'the choleric' veggies dipped in ranch so the choleric does not need to get off the swing and risk someone else taking it.  They are both playing their roles perfectly.  It's situations like these that I'm grateful for knowledge of the temperaments.  Sometimes I'll be at a park with friends who are more traditionally psychology based and see these interactions as manipulative and one dominating the other.  Yes, I would agree that potential is here- yet, knowing their temperaments and seeing how they play out and then addressing it through story and other ways that are less direct feels so much better to me than getting involved in this situation by yelling over to them, "Get it yourself!"  or to my own child, "Don't get it for her.  Make her get it herself."  which is what I've seen many parents do.  Remember these girls are both 9 so they are in the middle years so they are now primarily in their emotions and heart space so using story as a way to address these issues is perfect.  Also through things like form drawing - when we do form drawings together I usually have the choleric do spirals starting from the outside going in and the melancholic doing the opposite- in to out.  It's seems a funny way to address this situation but I find it works quite well.

Next. behold our little sanguine (Piglet)- the only one is this house of 8 right now!

Wiki says, "Sanguine indicates the personality of an individual with the temperament of blood, Night, the season of spring (wet and hot), and the classical element of air. A person who is sanguine is generally light-hearted, funloving, a people person, loves to entertain, spontaneous, and confident. However they can be arrogant, cocky, and indulgent. He/She can be day-dreamy and off-task to the point of not accomplishing anything and can be impulsive, possibly acting on whims in an unpredictable fashion. (I will note here that the sanguine temperament is the overriding temperament of all children but there are usually individual temperaments as well.  When you've got a sanguine child it's kind of a double whammy!)

This chipper little thing is who wakes up the whole house every morning with a big happy, "good morning!!"  while everyone else groans.  She talks all through breakfast while everyone else stares at their plate and eats.  She actually never really stops talking at any given point during the day.  She's like a little energizer bunny.  Sanguines typically skip rather than walk and are very light on their feet- often walk on tip-toes and behave almost like a flitting butterfly landing here and there and everywhere.  This one wanders off and says hello to everyone she passes.  It is a good idea to hold hands with a sanguine when in busy public places or near a street.  Even when they know better their body seems to have a mind of its own and just takes them all over the place.  I find sanguines need a very strong rhythm in their daily lives more than the others.  Cholerics too.  

She and other sanguines I know are extremely sensitive to sugar and can easily spin out of control resulting in whiney fits and crying.  I'm not a big fan of puzzles for young ones (she's 4) because I think their time is better spent playing creatively but she is one that I find puzzles actually help to ground and bring a bit of earth into this very airy gal.  I found a great puzzle the other day with 70 pieces in it and it really works to sit down with her one and one and work the puzzle together when she's headed for outer space.

Then there are our two phlegmatics (Pooh):

Wiki says, A phlegmatic person is calm and unemotional.  Corresponds to the season of winter (wet and cold), and connotes the element of water.

While phlegmatics are generally self-content and kind, their shy personality can often inhibit enthusiasm in others and make themselves lazy and resistant to change. They are very consistent, relaxed, rational, curious, and observant, making them good administrators and diplomats. Like the sanguine personality, the phlegmatic has many friends. However the phlegmatic is more reliable and compassionate; these characteristics typically make the phlegmatic a more dependable friend.  

They really love their food and can tend to overeat and become overly sedentary (classic couch potato).  They are typically home bodies that enjoy cooking and domestic type activities.  And like Pooh really love sweets!  I sometimes find cookies or even fruit hidden under her pillow to snack on at night.  These are the kids that would rather fall off the swing by swinging with one hand and a cookie in the other rather than let it go.  They are usually excellent sleepers- my 7 year old still at 12 hours per night.  

They also really like to gather and collect things.  You'll often find the little one with her shirt being used as a carrying case full of toys moving them from one area to the next.  They like arranging their collections - lining up trains, stones and the like you'll often see.

So there's my wrap up of the temperaments.  Again, I think understanding them can be an invaluable tool to use for parents to better understand our children rather than to label them or typecast them.  The goal for adults is to become balanced in all four.  When we watch and know our children's strengths as well as their weaknesses and find ways to support them I think they stand the best chance in later life.  Yelling "hurry up" to a phlegmatic is not helpful or making them feel like there is something wrong with them "Why are you so slow?  Why are you always last?"  is not helpful.  But understanding that they are deep in thought and not in such a hurry to move from point A to point B is helpful info for me.  And it also makes parenting more specific to each child.  You can't expect a choleric and a sanguine child to get from point A to point B in the same fashion.  So all that, "Why can't you be like your sister?" is thrown out of the window.  

I leave you with a little verse from A journey through time in verse and rhyme:

Lightly the sanguine one jumps over the stone

Quick and with grace

If he trips he cares not

With a laugh he is on his way

 

Grimly the choleric kicks at the stone

Hurling it out of his way.

As he exalts in his strength

See how his eye flashes fire.

 

Now the phlegmatic appears

And pensively slows down his step

“If this stone will not move from my path

Then I must go around it, that’s all.”

 

Silently stands by the stone

Brooding, the melancholy one,

Grumbling and plunged in despair

At his eternal bad luck.

A great book is Children and their Temperaments for more info on the subject.

Kaffee

Like the English with their tea, the Germans have their Kaffee.  Not a time to necessarily drink coffee but to have tea or coffee or juice for the kids and pastry in the afternoon.  My mom tells stories of when she first arrived to the States and would invite Americans over for Kaffee and they would say, "That's weird to have dessert before dinner."  The concept is often missing entirely from American culture.  Yet when we look around the world at so many different cultures we find this afternoon time of refreshment.  Even the Japanese with their reputation for overworking still have tea in the afternoon.  All public schools and work offices have a 'tea woman' on staff just for serving tea to the employees.  In Japan they will often have tea mid-morning as well.  The Japanese don't usually stop working for this time and it is served right at the desk but it is permissible to take about a minute to pause and say, "Oh, this tea is delicious."  Monday mornings were always the best because if anyone has traveled anywhere over the weekend it is customary to bring 'omiyage' (or the little local confection of where you went) back to the office.  So tea is served with a small confection on most days.

But here in Germany it is all about the pastry.  Here are a few snippets from our Kaffee yesterday.

We received a call the day before asking if we had time to come for Kaffee the next day.  That's it.  There's no need to an excuse for a party or fuss about it.  I find the most refreshing part of all of this is in the lack of stress about the refined sugar and flour.  None of the people here this day were fat and none were stressing about having this during the afternoon.  No comments about, "Oh, I really shouldn't, but it does look good."  No, "Oh, I'm not doing sugar right now."  No, "Oh, we're glutton free." and all the other stuff that I hear oh, so regularly at kiddy functions at home.  I mean I get all those issues and have a major allergy child myself but it is sooo lovely to have a break from all of that and just enjoy life, the garden and the delicousness of sugar, flour and butter!  yum.

The table is set for all the kids with real plates and glasses even outside.  This is all very "Waldorf" yes, but really most things that are "Waldorf" aren't specifically "Waldorf" they're just German.  This is not a Waldorf family and they have plenty of plastic toys inside and the children go to a Jewish school.  Yet, if we saw this setting in the States it would very likely be a family that was into Waldorf because it is a very rare American family that uses dishes and glasses with children- particularly outdoors!  All the children would likely have water bottles or sippy cups and they probably would not be sitting down or even using a plate.

These two are so fun to watch- the one of the left a 4 yr old English speaker and the one on the right a 5 year old German speaker.  They are very similar in temperament and get along fabulously- each always telling the other what to do and neither understanding the other.  That could be the key to their getting along!  They can't even fight.

I love how this photo is flanked by pregnant women!

Babies and big kids all together.  This little one was sooo cute.  Also, the warmth thing is definitely German as well.  Temps yesterday were mid 70's and this little one has on tights under her jeans, a long sleeved onsie, a shirt and a sweater, socks and a hat.  That's normal and you'd find it pretty much on any young child here.  I know this is one area where Waldorf teachers struggle immensely with Americans.  On a whole we do not dress our children anywhere near as warmly as they do here.  I really think it makes for a much more settled baby though.  I am a huge advocate of bundling the babes.  In preschool I would often have this talk with parents that would bring their toddlers in the morning in sun dresses and sandals when it was in the lower 60's in the am.  I would have sweaters on hand and put a sweater on them but still bare feet and bare legs typically makes for whiney children prone to causing upset when playing with others.  I have found through years of experience that warm children really do tend to be more settled and calmer.

That being said, here is mine in a tank! haha.  She started the day with a turtleneck underneath and a sweater on top though.  Then the peeling began.

These days in the States we have this concept of a 'play date' that revolves around the children and I actually find that quite unhealthy.  I think it's out of whack- not balanced.  I believe it is out of our own yearning for social connection so bringing the kids together to play is a lovely idea- but wouldn't it feel better if it were just a time to get together as a family (whatever form that takes) that is meant for everyone, wouldn't it?  In many play dates I find the parents hovering over the children, even watching them play.  I know I've been invited to many that I didn't particularly enjoy.  Usually each mother brings their own snacks that often are not even shared due to dietary restrictions, but rarely is there a lovely tea served where everyone sits down to enjoy it and then the kids just get up and go play when they're finished, the adults stick around the table talking.  I wonder how we got so far away from a more relaxed atmosphere of enjoying life.  This is one of the many oxymorons I see about us Americans.  We appear so relaxed in so many ways- our dress, attitude and all of that- yet, we seem to have a rather difficult time actually relaxing.  I was more relaxed at this Kaffee yesterday, with this group of Germans- who typically appear a bit more regimented and rigid than most Americans- than I do in the company of many Americans at home.  The children all seemed so contently relaxed knowing their parents are close by but not needing them.  There was no micromanaging by the parents and everyone actually enjoyed themselves.  I have definitely left play dates far more exhausted than when I arrived.  But this was actually like a vacation.  We all left feeling refreshed and relaxed.  It could of course be the setting!  Gorgeous as all get out, right???  All this yard and totally fenced in.  But I think it had far more to do with the attitude of the parents and attention off of the children than the setting.  I know at home when I go to a large park with a good friend that has a similar parenting style than me (hands off) I feel the same way.  But when we've been invited by someone from a dance class or from school and it is initiated by the kids, I am often so beat at the end of 2 hours I feel like I need to lock myself in a closet for an hour just to recover. This was essentially one of those meetings.  We met due to the kids at the park and were invited over.  So this is not a case of the parents being friends and wanting to hang out.  It was pretty much a 'play date.'  But better in every way. 

I see this phenomenon of parents having adult conversations and children playing happily nearby in nearly every other culture but American.  It is a rare event that I can have a conversation with a parent without the kids constantly interrupting, the parents micromanaging the children, directing the play, getting involved with the conflicts, etc. etc.  I rarely can have a phone call home for more than a minute with the person on the other line not talking to their children for more of the time than with me.  It is so lovely to step into whole other cultures where parents are not run by their children in a frantic way.  I don't see how we can expect to raise respectful children when we allow them to interrupt constantly.  I do not interrupt my children or demand that they clean up in the middle of their games and do something for me and I expect them to be courteous to me as well.  So often I see parents who attempt at being 'respectful' to their children allow themselves to be treated quite awfully in return.  I don't get that at all.  You know since we teach by example.  I see so many parents understanding half of this equation.  "Ok, they'll learn from me how to treat others because they see me treating others with respect." they think.  But they forget that they are also teaching the child how to be treated.  If we allow our children to boss us around, interrupt us and make demands on us while we're in the middle of something else- we are also teaching them that it is ok for them to be treated like that by others.  Common courtesy is not an American norm, where it is in many other cultures.